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Image courtesy of http://mouthmotions.blogspot.co.uk/

Happy New Year and welcome to 2013!

As you may have guessed, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to get blogging again. Therefore, I thought I would make this the subject of today’s post. I actually wrote this post a week or so ago but hadn’t got round to publishing it (story of my life!) when my postgrad colleague and Vice Chair of PsyPAG, Emma Davies, reminded me of an agreement we’d made to both try and regularly post on our blogs and to reflect on what we learn from it to inform a potential workshop on blogging for psychology postgrads at this year’s PsyPAG Conference in Lancaster in July. So here goes…

Somebody once made me a ’round tuit’ as a very thoughtful gift. It served to highlight the importance of re-evaluating my priorities and how I think about how I spend my time. There are so many pleasurable, fulfilling or nourishing activities that I put to the bottom of my list and never get round to, because I prioritise those tasks which produce direct results and usually those that others benefit from.

Before Christmas I was feeling very burnt out and resentful of how much I was doing for other people as it was taking up most of my time. After going to work in a demanding job focused on helping to meet others’ needs, I was coming home and then making, ordering and wrapping things for others. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the festive season and all that goes with it. However, I was prioritising things that would ultimately be for others and leaving my own needs until everything else had been done, which only just got done! I was foregoing cooking and eating a decent meal at a reasonable time, washing and packing my clothes before going away and things that make me feel good like a relaxing bath in favour of things for others. Anyone could have probably told me that this would result in me feeling drained, annoyed, resentful and stressed. I just didn’t see it at the time.

If only I had ensured I had a balance of things I was doing for others and things I was doing for me, you live and learn the hard way! It really highlighted the importance of looking after yourself, making time for things that recharge your batteries and give you pleasure that are not simply those that we see as ‘productive’. The product is greater wellbeing, lower stress levels and the ability to keep functioning well so that you are in a place to be there for others.

I think many psychologists and others in the caring professions put others’ needs before their own – it lends itself well to the job! In all seriousness, it can be detrimental and we are some of the worst at prioritising our own needs despite advising those we see and care for to do this very thing. I am going to try and practice what I preach and set an example. Instead of prioritising tasks for others’ direct benefit or those that are justifiable by their yield of an end ‘product’, I am going to try and spend at least half an hour a day doing something simple and pleasurable for me. Whether that is sitting on the sofa to enjoy a cuppa (and I mean really enjoy it and not let my mind get caught up in other things) or painting my nails – I’m going to endeavour to have more of a balance because I don’t want to wind up feeling bitter and twisted again any time soon!